The Me That Is Now

Alright everyone, I hope you’re having a great day. It’s Mark here again for another quick article to catch you up to speed on where I am at in my life! Last article I talked about the things that really made me feel like I was lacking self confidence and what was causing my insecurities. This article is much more uplifting though! I get to tell you what made all of that change. So, here it is..

Right before the end of my first year of college, around March of 2016, I made the hard decision that I wasn’t going to come back next semester. I decided that I wanted to move to Arizona with my parents because I was afraid of being on my own. I told all my friends this, even broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t want to put her through what I was doing (more on this later). I ended up going into the office of admissions and taking a “leave of absence” so that if I did end up coming back or anything like that I would be able to just enroll in classes without doing any paperwork.

I wasn’t doing great in some of my classes, mainly Calculus and Biology 200. I just didn’t care enough about it to go to class or really try on anything. I ended up withdrawing from calc to help save my GPA since I was truly bombing that course, which if you’re a college student reading this it is completely fine to experience this (more on this later as well). I stuck through the rest of my classes. By the time the semester ended and I dragged myself through finals, I was ready to just be done.

Summer starts, and unlike all my friends who are ready to party and celebrate, I’m still super stressed. I need to have money to move all the way across country and get an apartment, so I have to work my tail off and find ways to save. I spend 40-50 hours a week working, and rarely see my friends. If I’m not working I’m looking for cheap studio apartments in Arizona, or looking for things that I will need to be able to live on my own.

At the end of June start of July is when things began to change for me. Back in March I took a spring break cruise for two weeks with one of my best friends. We met a lot of great people on this boat, one of whom we met at a karaoke event. The guy was an amazing singer! So my friend and I went over and hung out for a while, the rest of the cruise we were always seeing each other and hanging out, it was great. Come to find out this guy is pretty big back in Texas, and has a pretty good size following.

Anyways back to late June early July, I get a text from this cruise guy. It basically said he loved my personality and wanted to let me come out on a two week tour with him and work as his merchandise manager! I was ecstatic! I finally had a reason to quit my job serving tables, which is by no means a bad job, it pays really well but it’s not the job for me.

July 25th I go out on tour. I spend two weeks traveling the south and had a truly amazing experience that I’m thankful for to this day. I got home August 10th ready to get home and see my ex girlfriend who I had been reconnecting with. I realized while I was gone that by ending things I was putting her through more emotional turmoil then if I had stayed. I really hadn’t been fair or kind to her at all, but she stayed there for me and waited for me to smarten up, and I’m so thankful for that.

I got home, and had no idea what I was getting myself into. How did I think that moving across the country, to live on my own, would be any easier than staying here and living on my own? I had friends here, a girl who I loved, my brother was still here, and I had none of that over in Arizona. So, me being the smart man that I am, realized that maybe this wasn’t what I needed, and told my parents and everyone else that I changed my mind and was staying. You may have a guessed this, but a lot of them weren’t too surprised by this. They all knew I would probably regret what I was doing. None of them told me that because it was something I needed to learn on my own, and I’m really glad they did that for me.

So here I am, back in Maine, and staying in Maine, with no job, a lot of money from saving so much, and no clue what I’m doing about school. My first move was to find a job so that I wouldn’t run out of everything I saved. I could not bring myself to go back to serving, yes I could make great cash that way, but it was not worth it to me. I wanted a job where I was happy and felt like I made a difference, but also that would pay the bills. I decided to google “good paying jobs in my area for high school graduates”. I got a whole list of jobs, most that sounded even worse than serving, some that sounded okay, and then I found the job I had been looking for.

A very well paying job for a college student with flexible hours, I applied to work as a BHP for a few local agencies. I ultimately got hired after a few interviews an got started in mid September.

While all this was happening and I didn’t have to work I started hanging out with my friends trying to make up for lost time. These guys were my best friends and it was like I had never changed. We played golf, had some fun nights at their place, and enjoyed the last parts of summer.

My ex girlfriend became my girlfriend again. After a lot of back and forth we finally were able to get back on the same page and work everything out. We have never felt happier than we do right now. We also got a puppy named Macey, who I’m sure I will be writing about from time to time.

So, what does my day look like now? I go to the gym 3 days a week following the principles laid out in Kinobody, it’s a great lifestyle that I recommend anyone following down or in a rut to check out (no they don’t endorse me, I just love what Greg and his team stand for). I go work with special needs children for a few hour a day and that is extremely rewarding. I get to see my friends often, and have a great girlfriend. I’m eating healthier and as a result feeling a lot healthier. I’m also at a place now where I feel I can start my education back up and get back on track, so I’ve enrolled in online courses so that I can maintain the same life style, while also going to college.

I made the decision to take charge of my life. I made a commitment to myself that every single day I would strive to better my life, or the life of someone else, and to be better every day. These have led me to happiest place in my young life, and I can not wait to see where it takes me in the coming years.

My story shows that it is okay to fail, to get knocked down, even knocked out. I said earlier it’s okay to mess up a class, because it is! You just have to learn from it, find what happened that lead to that failure and correct it. By doing that, you can prevent failure in the future, and propel yourself to success.

This is me now. I’m here with a new purpose, and a new mentality. I want to help better the lives of as many people as I can, including you. Know that you are not alone, and that you can make it through any struggle you find yourself in. I believe in you, and you should too.

That’s the end of this article, I apologize for it being quite lengthy but this was an important one. The upcoming articles will be a lot of fun and I can’t wait to share them with you! I hope that you have an amazing day, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m just an email away.

Image courtesy of https://www.speareducation.com/spear-review/2013/05/why-now-is-more-important-than-ever

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