Past Makes Present

Hey what’s up everyone, I’m coming back at you with a look into my past. I’ll admit its quite boring, nothing dramatically exciting so I’m going to keep this short. Now the reason I’m telling you about my past is because I believe that we build who we are off of our pasts. That does not mean that we live in our pasts, because we most certainly don’t. I believe we should live for today, and for tomorrow, striving to make each day as great as possible, and going to bed with the mindset of making tomorrow 1% better. Anyways, I won’t keep you waiting, so here’s where I come from..

I had a pretty smooth child hood, and let me tell ya I was a cute kiddo. The beauty of being a child is that you’re blinded from how harsh the world can be, in most cases at least, some kids do have it harder. For me I was fortunate to be blind to the world for a long while. The real struggles for me didn’t hit until 7th grade.

This is the time where kids are beginning to really see the affects of puberty, you know what I mean, the squeaky voices and all that stuff, yeah it’s great fun. Anyways, this is the time kids are usually get taller, stronger, and seeing a lot of change. For me that didn’t happen. Yeah I got taller but I put on no size. This was the start of the teasing. Nothing out of the ordinary, just your classic “nice twig arms” or “you should eat more” type of stuff. It hurt none the less.

The next big struggle for me came in High School, right around my junior year. I’m still skinny, but I have an amazing girlfriend and great friend group. In fact I feel pretty good at the start of the year. As the year progresses that all changes though. Now teachers are pushing us to think about and apply for college, they want us to determine our careers and get ready to go out into the big scary world. Me, yeah no thanks I’ll keep doing this High School thing for a while. I had no idea what I wanted to do! That was terrifying, and that’s when the rest of the insecurities crept in. I was so afraid that I would never know the right path for me. I felt so small in the world, and like my choices didn’t matter. That I would never be able to leave my print on the world.

I ended up graduating, still clueless. Went to school for biology. No idea why I did that, just thought I was good at science. Turned out I hated that, felt more insecure then ever. So I choose to withdraw for a semester, a leave of absence is what they call it. I was completely lost. On top of all that my parents had decided that since they worked from home that they were going to get a new camper and travel the country for a month and then live in Arizona! Nice right? Good for them! Really I was very happy for them but I was also fearing for my sanity.. How would I ever live on my own? I wasn’t prepared for that. Most kids move out when they’re ready. My parents moved out on me.

So, to sum things up: I’m super skinny and picked on over my size (strike one), I feel insignificant in the world and unsure of what to do with my life (strike two), and last but not least my family is leaving me to figure all this out on my own and I’ve never felt more helpless (strike three, there goes you confidence). Yeah, I was a mess. Looking at it, it really wasn’t all that bad. In the moment it sure felt bad though.

That’s pretty much rock bottom for me. It does go one step further but I’ll get to that in the next article, which will focus on the last 6 months and what really prompted my desire to turn things around (you know, the fun stuff I actually want to write about).

It’s really important for me that I share this with you. I want you to see how my life was so that you can see what built me up to this. I also hope that for some of you reading this that may have experienced something similar, you know you are not alone. The past can act as a building grounds for the person you want to become, you just have to know how. New beginnings await everyone, don’t be afraid of your future like I was, embrace it!

I’ll be back at you soon. The next post will be the rest of what led to my transformation. Until next to, keep striving to be 1% better. If you ever need anything, even just someone to talk with, shoot me an email. Have a great day!

image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/494973815271272609/  *

*Original poster unknown.

 

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